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, by Ruth E. Van Reken David C. Pollock
PDF Download , by Ruth E. Van Reken David C. Pollock
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Product details
File Size: 4774 KB
Print Length: 481 pages
Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1473657660
Publisher: Nicholas Brealey (November 26, 2010)
Publication Date: November 26, 2010
Sold by: Hachette Book Group
Language: English
ASIN: B004774S1O
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Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#86,866 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
I felt very alone until I found out there was a name for someone like me. This book is a must read for kids who have grown up in a culture and country different from their birth country. I met the author, David Pollock, at a Woodstock School (boarding school in India) reunion many years ago. He gave a talk about Third Culture Kids. I had never heard that term used before. It was a very moving experience to have him describe exactly how I felt. He absolutely understood me.A person who has lived their entire life in one place has no idea the emotional turmoil of one who has lived their formative years in another country from their parents' (birth) country. I went through culture shock when coming home (to the U.S.) for college. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has been through this experience. You will know you are not alone and it will help you to heal and understand your emotions.
Why didn't anyone tell me about this book 10 years ago? This should be required reading for all State Department, DOD, corporate, and any other families moving overseas.- A bit dry in the beginning.- Has stories sprinkled throughout the book.- Great practical suggestions on how to make transitions from country to country.- Section about making choices about education overseas.- Section about repatriating.- Gives resources if you want to connect with other ex-pats.*** The Kindle version: Although it needs a better edit, it isn't nearly as bad as another reviewer made it out to be. (Goodness! When I'm limited to only being able to ship 7,400 lbs, Kindle books saves room for more homeschooling books!)
Third Culture Kids are children reared in a country other than their passport - they develop a cultural identity that is neither multi-cultural nor bi-cultural but is rather a third culture. Parts of their parents' culture, which they pick up from home and/or an international school situation and parts of the culture in which they are living are co-mingled in such a way as to form a third culture in which they live and that is unique to each person; yet when a third culture kid meets another third culture kid, regardless of background, there is an immediate recognition and immediate kinship. There are some fundamentals, however, that are characteristic of all third culture kids. Common characteristics are a 1) cross cultural lifestyle, 2) high mobility, 3) expected repatriation somewhere, and 4) often a system identity with the sponsoring organization/business/ministry. A TCK can be a military brat, a missionary kid, a business brat, a government brat, a global nomad. All third culture kids have a broadened world view, often speak two or more languages, are often cultural bridges for others, have a feeling of rootlessness - home is everywhere and nowhere - and a sense of belonging with others of similar background. Third culture kids struggle with identity and experience grief - often unresolved. They are usually two or more years ahead academically and two or three years behind socially. Van Reken broadens the concept of Third Culture Kids to include Cross-cultural kids and does so in a way that is scholarly and practical. This should be required reading for everyone interested in cross-cultural studies/cross cultural families and who would like to understand children reared cross-culturally within their own country and those reared outside their home country. Expatriates should read this book as well parents who are rearing children in a cross-cultural situation (ethnic minority parents; immigrant parents; mixed race parents, parents who adopt from another nation, and parents who move often from one region of the U.S. to another.)
This book is invaluable for anyone who is or cares about a third culture kid (TCK):  one who has "spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside the parents' cultures".  This experience is common to children of missionaries, parents who work for international corporations, foreign service, aid organizations, educators, media representatives, military service, or whatever takes them out of their home country for an extended period of time.  This TCK experience can also happen actually to children who remain in their home country but live in a different culture within it, e.g. those whose parents work on an Indian reservation in the U.S. while not being born to that culture.Many of the differences the reader would probably be aware of, such as differences in eye contact, handshaking, pointing and other mannerisms.  I remember walking out of a training about Native American communication where we talked about the fact that direct eye contact can be a sign of disrespect to elders in that culture, and having a conversation with a young man who made no eye contact with me.  My whole body strongly said "he's lying or hiding something" - not to be trusted.  I could THINK all day long about those differences, but had to be sure to pay attention to the responses my body was having and not react based on my ignorance.  The authors of this book go more deeply into the effect these differences have on relationships, self-esteem, isolation, etc.  Other issues addressed are, e.g. how does one form deep attachments with those around them when they know they are always separated eventually.  There is no payoff and lots of pain in forming attachments.Another example of an unforeseen difficulty certainly is education. One Finnish young man grew up in Taiwan, and chose to complete his post-secondary education and med school in Chicago. English was spoken in all of his schooling and he would have had to compete with Finnish students who had been educated in Finnish to get into med school in his home country, and didn't think he would qualify.  He has realized it would be very difficult for him to EVER return to Finland to practice medicine.  He does not have a medical vocabulary in Finnish and would be looked down upon by his colleagues for having trained elsewhere.Restlessness is not a small factor in the lives of TCKs as adults, regarding relationships, careers, and just living arrangements.  The norm is to migrate and they would need to look very carefully to determine if it was really time to leave or rather a need to work on the relationship or job and NOT leave.  The problem seems to manifest in either the extreme of needing change often, or not ever wanting change again.  One woman married a man with about 8 jillion stamps on his passport, thinking they would enjoy a lifetime of travel, only to discover that he never wanted to leave the country again.This book does talk about the advantages of being a TCK also, altho some of those things are probably more well known.  Obviously an increased knowledge and experience base is  an advantage, along with some social skills developed from the need to meet new people.  What comes up for me is that that is the person I want in a staff meeting, able to bring different perspectives.  Also, a TCK often has a worldwide network of friends.  TCKs of course have their own culture with other TCKs when they get together, which can be very helpful for them.  The authors look at both weaknesses and strengths that develop for many TCKs  and offers some helpful ideas for dealing with some of the grief and loss issues.  I personally found this book to be very interesting reading whether or not the reader has a personal interest in the issue.  5 out of 5 stars.
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